When Life Gives You Frogs Make Froglegs

Good morning all you happy go lucky in love people. It is Valentine's Day, and I've spent the weekend wrestling a sick child. I've had a lot to think about this wonderful holiday season. So it prompted a conversation on my facebook page about princes and frogs..With even a toad or two thrown in for good measure. It prompted my friend Paula to state "When life gives you frogs, make froglegs and wash them down with the lemon drop martini's that you made with the lemons life gave you previously." So having likened men to princes and frogs yesterday, I have after careful consideration changed it to Rocky Road Fudge.
As I stepped on the scale this morning as is my usual ritual, I am currently holding steady and have stopped dropping weight. I am also thinking about Lemon Drops now, which I really like because they are sugary, and sweet. I have came to the conclusion, that I am a sugar addict. But not in the sense of food, in the sense of relationships. I love, love the sugary, and syrupy words of admirers. Being told that I am all that and a bag of Doritos makes me feel powerful! This is a frightening revelation.
At one point in time I was made aware by my dear friend Rob, that my mood directly correlates to the status of my relationships. When I am happy in love, the world seems wonderful. Let something go wrong, and the storm of the century brews, stews and the next thing you know we are embroiled in an ice age... It is like climbing a mountain of Rocky Road Fudge... I keep tripping over the nuts, and landing on the marshmallows.
I have fallen for a Marshmallow man once or twice. I'm not talking about a big chubby guy, but the one's who tell you what you want to hear, because they ooze the sugary, syrup out of their mouths like a soda fountain whose head has popped off. These Marshmallow gods are the one's that girls love to believe, handsome, and seemingly sweet. The problem with Marshmallows is they go stale all too fast. You find yourself gritting your teeth going, I can't take another bite of you because your gonna turn me into a diabetic, or worse I'm gonna in up in a sugar induced bordom coma.
Then there are the nuts. Nuts can be incredibly deceptive things. They are supposed to be good for you, packed in protein. They can either be tough to crack, or already unshelled. A special thanks goes out always to the poor previous girl who spent all that time cracking the nut for your enjoyment. Nuts come on strong, or subtle, and come in a variety of flavors, shapes and colors. If it is a bad nut, then it can make you ill. Problem is you usually don't know the nut is bad until after you take a large bite, unlike the marshmallow who you immediately know is stale. The aftereffects of the nut can hang with you for a long time....
Then there is the wave of Chocolate... I prefer my chocolate bittersweet. I like the chocolate guys, the ones who are sweet enough, but bitter enough to know that you are human. They will not constantly shower you with attention, but enough to balance out the bitterness. Chocolates are the right fit for me. I require balance in my life. Adoration, tempered with reality. I have a minor Chocolate addiction right now. Chocolate is complex, and difficult to figure out. It can be a liquid, or solid. It is so much like water, but with all sorts of interesting complex flavors. If you cook it at the wrong temperature you can ruin, a great piece of chocolate.
So having likened men to princes, and frogs yesterday I believe that the fudge analogy is more appropriate. I am currently enjoying my bittersweet chocolate bar, and wondering how long it is going to last, until I run into a nut that will ruin it for me...

Sometimes Walmart Bags Rip

I have been stressed, and not just a little bit a huge amount. I feel like a giant bundle of energy, that is about to discharge in all the wrong directions... Think lightning bolt gone haywire. This is a diet blog, and having said that stress and dieting are a deadly combination. I enjoy food a great deal, but for this evening it is relationships with other people that I shall be discussing, not my lack of eating ability.
I try to always kind of warn people about me a little bit. I am blunt, and sometimes bitingly sarcastic. If I get overwhelmed with emotion, I just fall to pieces sometimes. Smash the piggy bank and you end up with a million pieces that take hours to reglue. When things are going badly, I tend to push the people I care about most away. So when someone deems me a total package I get a little spooked. I liken myself to a walmart bag, and well sometimes when overloaded they rip.
Someone get this damn monkey off my back, because he keeps throwing feces at the people I care about. I am actually a really loving person. When I care, it tends to be too much to the point that I become a master mason, and begin building walls so high that no one can climb into my heart. Once they do get in though, you know the special ones with that key I have a hard time letting them back out. Damn I brick back up the hole so fast they are covered in morter before they know what hit them. I'm pretty sure in my wall, there are a few skeletons of bricked up men.
I can be cold, and vicious when I'm hurt. Hydrochloric acid is less caustic than I can be when offended. I don't mean to flip on the razor blade personality, and I tend to try to protect myself at all costs and brick up any hole in the wall as quickly as possible. But ladies there is a current hole in my defense. It sucks, I am not very thrilled with caring about someone of the male species. I enjoy my mantra, "Never like something so much that you can't live without it" But then again look where that particular meditation has gotten me?
My friend Rob kind of summed it up for me once in that he told me that I have a hard time being with someone outside of my comfort zone, and I'll attempt to self sabotage it. My comfort zone is usually mentally abusive assholes who could really give a rip about me. Boy I hate it went a man is right...self punishment is a forte. A man that is correct most of the time is about as common as a 2 headed peacock. I have been in sabotage mode today, and it sucks. I believe in myself, love myself, and have a really hard time allowing good people to love me back. I thought I had gotten past it but maybe not... I tell myself that I'm good enough, but a big portion of me feels like the girl who gets picked last, or the wallflower who never gets to dance at the high school dance.. and I really like to dance.
So here I sit, kind of feeling sorry for myself that I am an emotional basket case sometimes, and really hoping that I obtain forgiveness and didn't screw up something that is important to me too badly...

Ah, the stress diet

Let's talk about stress baby. I am a stress dieter, I have figured this much out about myself. Stress makes food undesirable to me, period. So I start losing scary amounts of weight at alarming rates. I am also an adrenaline junkie. For those of you who know me, I know it is quite hard to believe. Being fueled by adrenaline my energy levels bounce around more than the ping pong balls on Captain Kangaroo...

So being slightly under stress currently, the handsome sous chef, and I have parted company, I am rapidly losing weight again, due to lack of appetite. Wow, that was a run on sentence. It is even effecting my ability to grasp the English language. Although I love food in all of it's many forms, I am currently not really able to eat so well. I do notice though that after x number of days of a fast that clarity of thought comes into play. I start to feel like some sort of shaman on a quest for truth and justice. The anger issues begin to mount also, so there in a bit of the ninja pirate in me. Ah, if only I had a pink eye patch, and a kitana.

So here I sit, a bundle of energy right now, and wanting to go take on a brave new world. I am thinking that this is the first time in a long time that I have been in the mood to divide my mental clutter, and conquer. I feel good despite the lack of nutrients, and sleep.

I will miss parts of sous chef, but lets face it sometimes you just have to face the reality that you are worth so much more. I was, and am worth more. I have my moments because I'm human, but as of right now I am happy with myself. I am priceless.