If these are Life Lessons: I'd rather eat broken glass

Lately I have dreaded reading anything in the news.  I recall the phrase that religion is opium for the masses in my head.  I have lost many "friends" to the principle that I can't wrap my head around condemning a group of people openly because of who they love is "God sanctioned"  The entire affair smacks of the Old South and the years of ridiculous evil that was perpetrated on the black population in the name of "God" and "God's Word"

     Truth is we as people sometimes claim that God speaks to us but in reality we have no way of "hearing" what is in anothers head.  We do our level best to be good people, friends and neighbors.  Most people are basically decent and good at heart.  So what is occurring around the country with sanctioned legal discrimination against an entire population of people is frightening to me.  As a student of history, I have always been fascinated that good seemingly normal people can be swayed by obviously evil intended religious and political leaders.  We have a wonderful religious leader in the Dali Lama and the Pope but it seems as though certain factions of our "leaders" are addicted to an evil sort of negative drama, ignoring the loving advice of positive religious leaders in favor of those that oppress and do harm.  

     The evil dogma that is being pushed upon we the people is wholly the product of a group of "Christians" gone wild.  Fundamental Evangelical Christians who tout that they are for the family but every action they take proves otherwise. Uneducated American citizens being fed a steady diet of such negativity are now becoming desensitized to this brand of "love" and are behaving as if denying an entire group of people basic human rights and liberty were demanding "special rights".  In fact it is the polar opposite as non-taxable churches are attempting to make law for the masses who pay taxes, despite only being 24 percent of the population.  That is a small fraction!  They are demanding the right to not serve a population of people while there are already true anti-discrimination laws on the books protecting religious freedom.

      Freedom to discriminate at will is NOT a religious freedom. This was proven when the South clung to their segregation based on Biblical principles and was abolished by the Civil Rights Act, 50 years later obviously the "religious" portion has learned nothing. If these people insist on wanting to inject their vile negativity into public policy then we should insist that they are taxed like any other organization.  Their policies do not focus on family but rather tear down many families.  

     According to the Bible, Divorce is an abomination, just like the eating of shellfish, a woman cutting her hair and poly cotton blends.  We do not see attempts to modify laws concerning most of these "sins" and abominable laws on a regular basis.  The reason is simple many of these "good Christians" participate in these sins so it is acceptable to continue these practices without a hint of protest.  The vilification of the poor and the single parent happen often within the confines of these churches so it is easier to continue to vilify others who are less capable of defending themselves such as gay people because they too are a minority.  These "fire and brimstone" Christians always need a boogeyman to scare their adherents into behaving or they will "burn in Hell"

    To continue to oppress and discriminate simply because of who someone chooses to love is wholly wrong.  To ostracize friends and family who are gay is wholly and morally wrong and goes against what Jesus would have done and said.  Jesus was an outsider and an outcast forging a new way to think about God.  Clinging to these old "burn in Hell" concepts and rhetoric is like slapping the Prince of Peace in the face and saying that his sacrifice means nothing.  These are not true Christians who embrace concepts like charity, hope and faith.  They condemn and scratch and claw at anything that does not resemble them.  The Jesus of antiquity would not resemble them because he would be busy helping his fellow man or visiting prisoners in jail offering comfort to the "dredges" of society. It is interesting to note that King James thought that Jesus was a gay man and in the time of Jesus it would have been unheard of for a man his age never to marry.

     If you are someone who maintains distance from others simply due to their sexual orientation, stop for the love of God and humanity.  Understand that you have been taught a lie, an oppressive lie that harms other people.  It is a twisting of the original translation of scripture and is hateful and not God's word.  God charges you to love others period and God.  It is God's job to do the judging and pointing out of sin.  Do you not think that an omnipotent being isn't capable to "sorting it all out" without your 2 cents of meanuss toward your neighbor?  My God is certainly powerful enough to compel others to change their heart without my intervention.  Everytime you support one of these "family organizations" you give real evil a little more power and cause harm to someones family somewhere.  This is 2014 and it is time to stop living in 1950 (contrary to popular belief it wasn't all that great of a decade.  Being Gay isn't a disease, it isn't a choice and it isn't catching.  Put peace in your heart and put aside the negative dogma.

Why I'm Glad My Children Don't Poop Jelly Beans

     I had the fortunate pleasure of spending some time with a childhood friend yesterday.  I got to meet her children as well.  They were properly behaved, beautiful and well spoken.  The most miraculous of all of these things that they were is the fact that they were children.  You know what I mean, you could really tell that they were kids.  As they laughed and joked while eating their lunch, I realized that this type of interaction is missing a lot in the social networking world.  It was just finally nice to see a friend with a healthy, happy but very real family.  The kind of kids who are not perfect and are not expected to be perfect.  

     We all encounter those friends on FB who weave the type of life they wish us to see.  You know the friend whose children are always perfect, their homes always spotless and their hair always completely in place.  The kind of gal who married the most wonderful man on the planet and whose children poop jelly beans, because they are picture, perfect in every way.  The illusion of perfectness is just that an illusion.  Push on the glass house surrounding that "perfect" family and it will shatter into a million pieces almost every time.

    1) Mothers are not created to be superwomen. 2) Dr. Spock really got it wrong. 3) A perfect man and perfect children are as rare as a vegetarian snake.  Now, don't get me wrong.  There is nothing and I mean nothing wrong with believing that our kids are great.  Equally, nothing is wrong with being a positive support for our spouse.  What is wrong is perpetrating the fraud of perfection as a standard for others to try to emulate.  It is setting yourself up for a huge fall eventually.  High expectations are great but perfection is an impossibility.  

        I adore my handsome fiance.  I have adored him for years now.  He spoils me with his housekeeping skills.  He is a fabulous cook.  He is an attentive doting father figure to my 14 year old son.  He is intelligent beyond belief.  He believes in me, even when I don't believe in myself.  He is constantly telling me that I am beautiful and how much he loves me.  The list of his virtues go on and on.  He sounds very much like every woman's dream man.  He is my dream man and soul mate.  The reality is also that we are very far from perfect.  I can list positives to the cows come home giving off the illusion that we are that couple that everyone dreams of being without ever giving anyone a glimpse of the reality.  But reality is what makes us that dream couple, for you see we *insert loud audible gasp* argue!!!! 

     We don't argue in a yelling and screaming fashion.  We do however communicate our displeasure in a situation like rational, sane adults.  We do not spend our time pointing out each other's flaws.  We are each other's champions and cheerleaders.  We don't pretend like the kids are never going to screw up.  We do not have our boy trying to take on so many activities that he is bogged down by attempting to please us and not being a child.  Neither of us understand this recent phenomenon of people insisting their children are child prodigious savants that composed their first symphony by age 2, never take a bad photograph and heaven forbid gotten their precious feet dirty by squishing mud between their toes. Which leads me to my next point, live in the now! 

     Stop, for the love of your children trying to turn them into what you always wanted to be.. your photographs are telling, your verbage is telling.. living vicariously through your children makes you a stage manager for a fraud! Let them be children!  Spend more time living in the now rolling around making mud pies with them.  Be spontaneous!  Go on random road trips, instead of planning every minute of their day.  Take time for you and your spouse!  It is healthy for children to understand that they are not the center of your universe 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.. if you focus all your attention on your spawn and hardly nothing for your spouse you are undermining the blessing that God gave you.  When they children leave home, what will you have if you have neglected your helpmate for a lifetime?  (By the way that advise was given to me by a man of God, at first I was mortified but then I understood after I thought about it).

     Around here we make mistakes, which often leads to a discussion and quick forgiveness.  We aren't very good at fake self promotion. Our photographs are not perfect, our hair gets messed up, we get dirty, we don't have a perfect house, we don't have perfect kids, but we are perfectly happy in the knowledge that we are really real. We are thankful that our children don't poop jelly beans! 

    

     

Day 2: It's Fluoride, fluoride it's in my head...

Day two of the fluoride experiment... trying to reset the old body with a new regime of decreased fluoride... and the fluoride is everywhere! So on to make dinner today, bean soup and corn bread.. gluten free of course.. thought that I would miss Diet Dr. Pepper, but actually didn't miss it at all! Shocking.. I do have a fridge full of lemonade made with spring water, and gleaned my caffeine fix from coffee brewed with spring water. Wow, I sound like a spring water billboard!

I find myself being a little tired this afternoon, but did stop by the GNC today to pick up a supplement, you know one of those super vitamin... super charged... super food.. deals... It smells horrible.. all they had was cherry flavor. I'm hoping that it helps. I have also increased the capsacin in our diet too... not that I didn't already cook spicy enough, but extra hot to rev up the old metabolism.

I intend to wake up very early tomorrow, and start walking extra as well.. I need to add the exercise back into my life slowly. Not that I stopped completely, but life has me twisting in the wind on a regular basis, so I haven't been able to accomplish all of the things I've wanted to accomplish recently. I sound driven, but fell scattered most of the time. I do have an agenda.. I want an alpaca farm. Organic foods, grown in my own spot... Nutritious food cooked in our own little cafe.. Healthy, and safe from pesticides.. and nasty stuff!

My sense of humor doesn't seem to be intact today. I suppose it is because I have so much on my mind, and have done 5 loads of laundry in a couple days time.. So Day two has me a little tired, I've eaten well today, hopefully will feel much better after tomorrow too... less brain fog... and more concerted energy to add pep to my step...

Peace be with you all...

DAY ONE FLUORIDE SCARE "aka Pandora is out of the Box"

Most of the people who know and love me, realize that I'm one quirky gal. By this I mean, I like routine. If it gets messed up even by a little tiny bit, I tend to get my butt in a knot and flip out a little. I love Diet Soda... love love love it to the point that most of the time I think I would be willing to trade my most prized possessions, my boys, for a sip of Diet Dr. Pepper. Ok, so maybe I love my children a little more than that, but you get the drift! So the following is a story about the loss of love, and potential sanity due to Fluoride...
Sitting at work reading a health magazine, I ran across an article about Fluoride toxicity. The main point of this particular article was leaning toward the fact that it can disrupt the thyroid. Hummm, I thought to myself, perhaps that warrants a little more looking into. Since I wrote last I have immersed myself in work, back here in good old Southern Indiana. Two jobs, two dogs, two sons, and one incredibly handsome boyfriend keep me pretty busy. But today is special, it's a holiday. I have a whole day off... this does not mean I haven't been working around my neglected house.. I have! But I could read more about Fluoride on the Internet...
As I read article after article, something happened I got angry... I woke up pretty happy this morning. I got to sleep in cuddled up next to Mr. Hottie (he even asked me what I wanted for breakfast). I was gathering thoughts about what to do for the day, and then Fluoride stopped me in my tracks... This stuff is a poison??? I always thought I was smart, how in the heck did I not know this? With every new website my flame went up higher and higher, to the point of marching into the living room and telling Marc.. OK gotta go to the grocery!
Off to the store we go, I'm armed with a heck of a lot of knowledge by this time about which water is OK which water isn't.. He appropriately dresses the part of grocery warrior, and looks like Crocodile Dundee sans machete, since that length of blade is illegal in most stores. I'm walking through the grocery intent on banning fluoride from our household, or at least as much as possible. No more soda for us, and no more tap water... This leads to buying a lot of water at the store...
So now it is late, I have given up on my love Mr. Diet Dr. Pepper, and am settling for a new one... This is my latest experiment in doing things to help the family feel better overall... Time will tell how it goes... and if I notice any improvement in my RA... hopefully so.. Gotta go to bed now, as tomorrow is another day, but not an official holiday.

Back home again in Indiana

People say you can't go home. I kind of feel that way myself sometimes, like this really isn't my home anymore. There are so many people that I don't recognize. I'm learning to adapt to life back here in the Hoosier state. I have old friends who are lifesavers.

So here I sit reworking this forgotten blog, while thinking about when to start dinner for my family. I never thought that I would be back here in this position... It's like two steps forward three giant leaps back... Oh the diet... well still on the stress diet, which precludes food from being my friend in any shape way form or fashion... Yuckers.. and I only weight 5 more pounds than I did in high school at this moment in time.

I think, well I know that I will be OK in time. I still am enjoying my chocolate, little bitter sweet but seriously nice. I needed nice for a change. Blissful normalcy for a few mins is awesome to endure... I'm happy with that. I'm still happy with me... I have made mistakes, and probably will continue to do so in my life, but for the most part I am greatful for my loved ones.

When Life Gives You Frogs Make Froglegs

Good morning all you happy go lucky in love people. It is Valentine's Day, and I've spent the weekend wrestling a sick child. I've had a lot to think about this wonderful holiday season. So it prompted a conversation on my facebook page about princes and frogs..With even a toad or two thrown in for good measure. It prompted my friend Paula to state "When life gives you frogs, make froglegs and wash them down with the lemon drop martini's that you made with the lemons life gave you previously." So having likened men to princes and frogs yesterday, I have after careful consideration changed it to Rocky Road Fudge.
As I stepped on the scale this morning as is my usual ritual, I am currently holding steady and have stopped dropping weight. I am also thinking about Lemon Drops now, which I really like because they are sugary, and sweet. I have came to the conclusion, that I am a sugar addict. But not in the sense of food, in the sense of relationships. I love, love the sugary, and syrupy words of admirers. Being told that I am all that and a bag of Doritos makes me feel powerful! This is a frightening revelation.
At one point in time I was made aware by my dear friend Rob, that my mood directly correlates to the status of my relationships. When I am happy in love, the world seems wonderful. Let something go wrong, and the storm of the century brews, stews and the next thing you know we are embroiled in an ice age... It is like climbing a mountain of Rocky Road Fudge... I keep tripping over the nuts, and landing on the marshmallows.
I have fallen for a Marshmallow man once or twice. I'm not talking about a big chubby guy, but the one's who tell you what you want to hear, because they ooze the sugary, syrup out of their mouths like a soda fountain whose head has popped off. These Marshmallow gods are the one's that girls love to believe, handsome, and seemingly sweet. The problem with Marshmallows is they go stale all too fast. You find yourself gritting your teeth going, I can't take another bite of you because your gonna turn me into a diabetic, or worse I'm gonna in up in a sugar induced bordom coma.
Then there are the nuts. Nuts can be incredibly deceptive things. They are supposed to be good for you, packed in protein. They can either be tough to crack, or already unshelled. A special thanks goes out always to the poor previous girl who spent all that time cracking the nut for your enjoyment. Nuts come on strong, or subtle, and come in a variety of flavors, shapes and colors. If it is a bad nut, then it can make you ill. Problem is you usually don't know the nut is bad until after you take a large bite, unlike the marshmallow who you immediately know is stale. The aftereffects of the nut can hang with you for a long time....
Then there is the wave of Chocolate... I prefer my chocolate bittersweet. I like the chocolate guys, the ones who are sweet enough, but bitter enough to know that you are human. They will not constantly shower you with attention, but enough to balance out the bitterness. Chocolates are the right fit for me. I require balance in my life. Adoration, tempered with reality. I have a minor Chocolate addiction right now. Chocolate is complex, and difficult to figure out. It can be a liquid, or solid. It is so much like water, but with all sorts of interesting complex flavors. If you cook it at the wrong temperature you can ruin, a great piece of chocolate.
So having likened men to princes, and frogs yesterday I believe that the fudge analogy is more appropriate. I am currently enjoying my bittersweet chocolate bar, and wondering how long it is going to last, until I run into a nut that will ruin it for me...

Sometimes Walmart Bags Rip

I have been stressed, and not just a little bit a huge amount. I feel like a giant bundle of energy, that is about to discharge in all the wrong directions... Think lightning bolt gone haywire. This is a diet blog, and having said that stress and dieting are a deadly combination. I enjoy food a great deal, but for this evening it is relationships with other people that I shall be discussing, not my lack of eating ability.
I try to always kind of warn people about me a little bit. I am blunt, and sometimes bitingly sarcastic. If I get overwhelmed with emotion, I just fall to pieces sometimes. Smash the piggy bank and you end up with a million pieces that take hours to reglue. When things are going badly, I tend to push the people I care about most away. So when someone deems me a total package I get a little spooked. I liken myself to a walmart bag, and well sometimes when overloaded they rip.
Someone get this damn monkey off my back, because he keeps throwing feces at the people I care about. I am actually a really loving person. When I care, it tends to be too much to the point that I become a master mason, and begin building walls so high that no one can climb into my heart. Once they do get in though, you know the special ones with that key I have a hard time letting them back out. Damn I brick back up the hole so fast they are covered in morter before they know what hit them. I'm pretty sure in my wall, there are a few skeletons of bricked up men.
I can be cold, and vicious when I'm hurt. Hydrochloric acid is less caustic than I can be when offended. I don't mean to flip on the razor blade personality, and I tend to try to protect myself at all costs and brick up any hole in the wall as quickly as possible. But ladies there is a current hole in my defense. It sucks, I am not very thrilled with caring about someone of the male species. I enjoy my mantra, "Never like something so much that you can't live without it" But then again look where that particular meditation has gotten me?
My friend Rob kind of summed it up for me once in that he told me that I have a hard time being with someone outside of my comfort zone, and I'll attempt to self sabotage it. My comfort zone is usually mentally abusive assholes who could really give a rip about me. Boy I hate it went a man is right...self punishment is a forte. A man that is correct most of the time is about as common as a 2 headed peacock. I have been in sabotage mode today, and it sucks. I believe in myself, love myself, and have a really hard time allowing good people to love me back. I thought I had gotten past it but maybe not... I tell myself that I'm good enough, but a big portion of me feels like the girl who gets picked last, or the wallflower who never gets to dance at the high school dance.. and I really like to dance.
So here I sit, kind of feeling sorry for myself that I am an emotional basket case sometimes, and really hoping that I obtain forgiveness and didn't screw up something that is important to me too badly...