Going to be tired tonight

Ok, so I admit it. I'm exhausted. My normally positive son, that would be the tween, came up to me in the kitchen, and said "Your eyes are telling me that your tired mommy" Ouch, the diet is going well I suppose, but it is a little tedious at times. I am becoming a little worn out. I am losing weight, but at what cost?

I don't dislike the food, the things I am missing though are some vegetables that I love. I don't really usually eat a lot of meat so the past nine days have seemed more like a meat feast, than the last bar I walked into. So here I sit, eating my snack of ricotta cheese, splenda, and cocoa powder. I mixed it myself to get my chocolate fix. Yesterday I came up with a way to make low carb honey mustard dressing. I was proud of myself.

I will continue to stay on the plan for now. I have a mission, and a goal. I just have decided that I don't enjoy feeling and looking tired!

I've lost track of days

I have officially lost track of my days. This happens to me more often than naught, but I can see a difference in my body. Little changes, here and there. I'm perfectly OK with slow, and steady. I'm continuing on the path. I have eaten more frequently than I would have before, perhaps this is really the key. It seems as if I am eating a lot of food, but with exception of the meat pie fiasco I am losing weight, and parts of me are getting stronger. This is a short blog today, I have some research to do into foods that replace collagen in the skin.

The Natchitoches Meat Pie Incident

So I skipped yesterday, in order to spend more time with my family. I cooked, and did some laundry. Went to Wal-mart twice in one day, and finally while driving home my significant other says "I have the recipe for Natchitoches Meat Pies." So this prompts me to say " What's in them?" He replies "I don't know, I need the recipe" I by this time am confused as all hell.... "You need the recipe, but I thought you had it? " Replies the S.O. "No I said I needed to get a recipe"


Ah the joys of driving with my deaf ear turned toward him... I quickly whip out the handy I-phone.. so how do you spell it? It is pronounced Nack a tish... according to him, but he rambles out a spelling that doesn't even resemble that word. The man secretly takes delight in knowing that words from Louisiana totally confuse my Hoosier brain. "So please spell it again?" As I repeat slowly "Na..tch..i..toc....h..e.s." Wow, that looks odd to me... By this time S.O. is looking at me with a smirk that would put The Cheshire Cat to shame, "That is what I said Nackatish, how would you pronounce it?" Of course, I would try to pronounce it "Natch i toe sush" which would have been all wrong.


So reading this recipe for the deep fried pies, it includes lard. Not shortening, but honest to goodness pig fat lard. Holy crap, this is death in a meat pie. The meat filling for the pies is actually not a horribly unhealthy combination. Being familiar with Louisiana cooking, I recognized the trinity as ingredients, as well as the delicious Cajun spice combinations. So I agree to make the heart attack in your hand for dinner. I also adamantly swear my lips shall not partake of this particular concoction. It contains things that are sinful to my diet, and body. Gluten, and pig fat, and calories, OH MY!


The ingredients are gathered together, during an ice storm. I think he must really be craving these badly to brave the grocery in an ice storm, but this could be erroneous because he also has testosterone coursing through his veins, and a jeep to play in on the ice. Back he comes with an armload of things, but no pig fat. Have to settle for shortening, and of course I don't have this particular ingredient in my pantry... Grease has no place in my kitchen, I prefer olive oil. What am I going to do with all this artery clogging grease.


I set to task, with my handy, handsome Sous Chef at my side. He makes a killer vegetable chopper, and is way better to look at than the food processor. The meat, and spice blend perfumes the little house. I am reminding myself the entire time to stay strong in my resolve, and not touch the meat pie once assembled. I taste the filling, and it is the pungent Cajun flavor that I have come to love over the years. It is a frying pan full of yummy goodness. Convincing myself that the meat and veggie part isn't unhealthy to taste sets me on the path for destruction.


I begin to assemble the pastry portion. No pig fat, cut in the shortening, and roll out the dough. I begin muttering this is an empanada, just Cajun style. By the time I'm ready Sous Chef, has prepared the fryer, and the first pie goes into the grease with a sizzle. A few minutes later it has emerged golden, and looking fair food yummy. The teenager is used as the guinea pig, and he gobbles it down, with mustard. I'm sure mustard is sacrilege, but the child uses mustard on everything he eats. The teen nods approvingly, so onto the tween of the house.


As the sleepy tween emerges from his cave, lured away from WOW by the scent of potential food. I notice that his eyes glaze at the sight of the pocket placed before him. I personally am hoping he just thinks that it is a hot pocket that we have warmed in the microwave. He takes an initial bite, and declares it "Delicious" Tween then goes on to say "So this is Louisiana food, too, huh it isn't bad" Sous Chef is slightly offended, and defends the cuisine of his home state with a " Have I fed you anything from Louisiana that wasn't good?" Tween does not respond, he is busy stuffing his face with his third meat pie...


I meanwhile am still trying to stay strong in my resolve to not eat any of this heart attack inducing, badness in pastry dough. I hear the voice of my beloved "Sometimes you just have to say screw it, and eat something just because it tastes good" Diet saboteur, that is what he is, and so I do the deed. I eat a meat pie. As it is going to my lips, my insides scream "What the hell do you think you are doing to us?" The brain then overruled them all screaming back "Shut up, and enjoy the pie" I did enjoy it, and I have to say it was incredibly good.


S.O. looks up, and says "What are you eating? A meat pie? Thought you weren't going to touch those, and stay on your diet?" Ugh! I think a few obligatory curse words to myself, and a few hours, and meat pies later, I am worried what the heck are the scales going to look like tomorrow? To my surprise this morning, I have lost a pound. I attribute this to working out, and increasing my metabolism. So I enjoyed a meat pie, and it didn't kill me. I am happier for trying them, and happy that I didn't swell up like a balloon afterwards.


http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Natchitoches_meat_pie

Energy level is low....

Now I am reading that a lot of people feel their energy soar on the SB diet, I am not one of those people. I am currently exhausted... Wow, I completed day three yesterday. Took a walk to pay my bills, that was around three miles. I have not felt like going to the gym all weekend. But I have worked out here at home. Stepped on the scale I have lost 7 pounds, but it seems too fast. I don't know if that is where my energy level is going? I need to get back to the gym today, I miss the gym. Perhaps my Sketchers are helping too? I'm not sure gonna tweek this plan and see if I can rearrange some high energy good before the next time I work out... Bluck.

Reflections on day two

So I woke up this morning, and stepped on the scale. I'm down 6 pounds in the first 2 days. Now I have a gluten allergy, as well as PMDD going on, so I'm not really sure if it's the diet or the other two issues having been a little better at the moment. I am currently happy with the 6 pound loss on paper but I notice my energy level is lacking something special. So I just really am not going to write that much today, but remark that hopefully tomorrow my energy level will be soaring!

Reflections on day one

Woke up yesterday in a very foul mood indeed. I felt like I had the entire weight of every mistake, or misstep that I had ever made on my head pressing down like a 50 pound barbell. Work the prior night had been long, and while I thought my new Sketcher Shape Ups would put some exciting spring into my step, I just felt worn to a frazzle by the end of the night. Hence the morning wake up call of negativity, and just plain bad feelings.

So shaky, and nervous I combed through my books, and articles to figure out my first day's menu. I stood in the kitchen, and prepared my days meals. Eating 6 times a day is difficult for me, but preparing meals so that I could follow this plan seemed tedious. I'm not gonna candy coat things here, either literally or figuratively tedious is the truth. Standing in the kitchen for 3 hours is not my idea of a good time when I'm nervous. I do enjoy cooking, but not when I'm cranky. I settled on my meal plan, and got down to business.

I made my breakfast an egg casserole, with peppers, and mushrooms. It tasted pretty good, and looked appealing. It was also 11 year old approved. For a snack it was cherry tomatoes, and a string of mozzarella. I went on to making a curried soup. I had found the chili recipe, and since I don't really like meat all that well I modified it, and made it curry instead. Plus it cut out the tomatoes, I swapped those for a few peppadews. Snack for the PM was a few almonds. Then dinner, I made a sugar free dressing for a salad, made some steak, and cauliflower mashed potatoes. Whew, by then it was time to get ready for work. I barely had time to squeeze in a quick workout.

I placed my parcels of South Beach goodies, into a giant walmart bag. This much food would not fit into a conventional lunchbox. I looked like a bag lady walking into a five star restaurant asking people for change.

Reality is we have fantastic food at work, this is why so many people who come to work there gain weight. The employee packet should come with a hazard sticker, warning you will chub up due to very rich, and decadent morsels of goodness. It is a trap, and a pitfall. As much as you try to keep it healthy the cheesecake, and creme brulee lure you in the next thing you know the scale is an enemy, and the kitchen staff look like minor demons in white and black checkers.

So I did pretty well my first day, it was difficult forcing myself to eat when I wasn't hungry. Dinner was a challenge because of the steak so I only ate a very small portion of it, but the cauliflower was good. The ricotta, and chocolate dessert got half eaten, as well as the salad. All in all day one was successful.

I will begin today with the knowledge that my nervous nature yesterday stems from my monthly bout of PMDD... note to self increase soy intake for the natural estrogen, and do streching exercise during my daily mediation.

Counting down till the beginning.

I am Blogging now, wow. I have never been good at keeping journals, but I have committed myself to this. I need to become healthy. No not just externally healthy, but internally also. I have had many setbacks in life, "Who hasn't?" Good question really who hasn't had setbacks, little rocks in the path that you stumble across, and scrape your knee. My setbacks have not only been of the knee scraping variety, but full fledged emergency room trips.

I do not, repeat that do not feel sorry for myself. Adversity has given me a unique perspective, I see things in many different facets. I can be bitchy, as well as soft, and an lovely. This is my journey to happiness. If you choose to read these words, then fabulous. Perhaps you can relate to me, my life, my little spiritual journey to Nirvana?

I have recently began a pretty interesting exercise program with my friend Brandi. I have noticed that instead of losing weight that the scale is inching upwards. I feel healthier for it though, and am having a blast. I am tracking my cardio, and strength training. It again is fun to do something different.

Tomorrow I am starting the South Beach Diet as an experiment for my health, as well as getting back to meditation. Perhaps I can turn some negatives into some fantastic positives